Lawyer Hunting Season

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1. Any person with a valid Nevada hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Attorneys may be taken with traps and deadfalls. Currency may not be used as bait.
3. Attorneys may not be killed with a motorized vehicle. If accidentally struck, the hunter should move the carcass to the roadside, and proceed to a car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile, watercraft, or aircraft. Marked police vehicles may be used as shootingplatforms.
5. It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH," "AMBULANCE," or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW or Mercedes dealerships.
7. It is unlawful for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drugdealer, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, physician, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
8. Care should be used so as not to endanger any remaining species. We would not want a repetition of the disaster that followed the "no limit" season on the sub-species "Honest Lawyer". That particular variety is now extinct. Excessive harvesting of other species could dry up the supply of palm grease, cheap three-piece suits and forked tongues that efficient dressing of lawyers' carcasses yield.

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