Misc Jokes
List of Misc Jokes ...
Donkey Raffle
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. ...Read MoreCremate Me
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ...Read MoreTwo zebras pondering
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. ...Read More101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through ...Read MoreMilitary Maneuvers
By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a proprietor. ...Read MoreTen Indications of a New Year Hangover
1.You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets. 2.Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to ...Read MoreNew Years Lecture
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was sto ...Read MoreNew Years Resolutions
I have worked tirelessly in setting New Year's Resolutions every January 1st. While I'm not always the best at keeping them, I'm consistent, and I' ...Read MoreWilliams Marriage
One Sunday morning, William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful ...Read MoreConsumer Labels
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods: On a ...Read MoreThe Irate Customer
For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we al ...Read MoreTrain Seats
An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been gr ...Read MoreTheory On Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or en ...Read MoreDefinitely
Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" ...Read MoreTWO LITTLE BOYS
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine years old grabs a box of tampons from t ...Read MoreEVER WONDER ...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headli ...Read MorePrison Versus Housewives
In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get ...Read MoreRoad Rage
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his dau ...Read MoreStoner Shopping Trip
A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the dude at the counter, "Got any weed?" The man politely replied, "Um, no sir. We do not sell marijuana he ...Read More... and he has his head up his...
...Read MoreAccident Insurance Claims
The following are real accident summaries filled out by policy holders on Insurance Forms: "A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's ...Read MoreOptical Illusion - This is not moving!
Optical Illusion - This is not moving! ...Read MoreWell Stocked Toilet. Ready for a night of wings and mexican beer
ready for a night of wings and mexican beer ...Read MoreCool fence trick. You should see the coloring book...
You should see the coloring book. ...Read MoreIf Abraham Lincoln were alive today
Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of ...Read MoreDiary of a Snow Shoveller
So, you want to be up North???? Subject: Diary of a Snow Shoveler December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season an ...Read MoreBullfight Buffet
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two ...Read MoreForest Gump goes to Heaven
The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however ...Read MoreCan't Sleep... Clown will eat me...
Can't Sleep... Clown will eat me... ...Read MoreOne good Deed
A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St ...Read MoreDinosaur theory
OK, let's consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the ma ...Read MoreSignal man
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to giv ...Read MoreTelesales
One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from ...Read MoreBaking funeral
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an av ...Read MoreIdiot Rescue
Once upon a time there two men, Roger and Barry, went cliff climbing. Suddenly, Roger lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. Barry ...Read MoreCommercial misfortune
This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. ...Read MoreAsylum fence
A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" ...Read MoreThe lumberjack
A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little gu ...Read MoreUnusual order
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he ord ...Read More
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