Misc Jokes

List of Misc Jokes ...

  • Donkey Raffle   

    Kenny, a city boy, moved to the country and purchased a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the following day. ...Read More
  • Cremate Me   

    A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated." "And ...Read More
  • Two zebras pondering   

    Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. ...Read More
  • 101 Ways To Annoy People   

    1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through ...Read More
  • Military Maneuvers   

    By the time the soldier pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere", he pleaded with a proprietor. ...Read More
  • Ten Indications of a New Year Hangover   

    1.You get it into your head that chirping birds are the Devil's pets. 2.Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to ...Read More
  • New Years Lecture   

    On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was sto ...Read More
  • New Years Resolutions   

    I have worked tirelessly in setting New Year's Resolutions every January 1st. While I'm not always the best at keeping them, I'm consistent, and I' ...Read More
  • Williams Marriage   

    One Sunday morning, William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful ...Read More
  • Consumer Labels   

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods: On a ...Read More
  • The Irate Customer   

    For all of you out there who've had to deal with an irate customer, this one is for you. It's a classic! In tribute to those 'special' customers we al ...Read More
  • Train Seats   

    An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been gr ...Read More
  • Theory On Hell   

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam paper: "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or en ...Read More
  • Definitely   

    Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" ...Read More

    Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine years old grabs a box of tampons from t ...Read More
  • EVER WONDER ...   

    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headli ...Read More
  • Prison Versus Housewives   

    In prison, you get three square meals a day. At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your kids to eat it. In prison, you get ...Read More
  • Road Rage   

    A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his dau ...Read More
  • Stoner Shopping Trip   

    A stoner walks into a gas station and asks the dude at the counter, "Got any weed?" The man politely replied, "Um, no sir. We do not sell marijuana he ...Read More
  • ... and he has his head up his...   

    ...Read More
  • Accident Insurance Claims   

    The following are real accident summaries filled out by policy holders on Insurance Forms: "A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's ...Read More
  • Optical Illusion - This is not moving!   

    Optical Illusion - This is not moving! ...Read More
  • Well Stocked Toilet. Ready for a night of wings and mexican beer   

    ready for a night of wings and mexican beer ...Read More
  • Cool fence trick. You should see the coloring book...   

    You should see the coloring book. ...Read More
  • If Abraham Lincoln were alive today   

    Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of ...Read More
  • Diary of a Snow Shoveller   

    So, you want to be up North???? Subject: Diary of a Snow Shoveler December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season an ...Read More
  • Bullfight Buffet   

    A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two ...Read More
  • Forest Gump goes to Heaven   

    The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however ...Read More
  • Can't Sleep... Clown will eat me...   

    Can't Sleep... Clown will eat me... ...Read More
  • One good Deed   

    A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St ...Read More
  • Dinosaur theory   

    OK, let's consider the physical evidence. The moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the Earth every year. Do the ma ...Read More
  • Signal man   

    Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad, and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to giv ...Read More
  • Telesales   

    One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from ...Read More
  • Baking funeral   

    Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an av ...Read More
  • Idiot Rescue   

    Once upon a time there two men, Roger and Barry, went cliff climbing. Suddenly, Roger lost his footing and went tumbling down to the bottom. Barry ...Read More
  • Commercial misfortune   

    This guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. ...Read More
  • Asylum fence   

    A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" ...Read More
  • The lumberjack   

    A LARGE, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little gu ...Read More
  • Unusual order   

    A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall: $500 IF WE FAIL TO FILL YOUR ORDER! When his waitress arrives, he ord ...Read More



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