Police Jokes

List of Police Jokes ...

• Jay Walker   

  A policeman spotted a jay walker and decided to challenge him, 'Why are you trying to cross here when there's a zebra crossing only 20 metres away?' ...Read More

• Not too smart   

  A Police officer approached a motorist stopped in the middle of the road before the river overpass holding up traffic. The officer noticed the dri ...Read More

• Prison life versus a full-time job   

  In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get thre ...Read More

• Breaking into a house   

  A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court ...Read More

• A test for being drunk   

  A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blo ...Read More

• A prisoner with skills   

  Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that de ...Read More

• Try to catch the rabbit   

  The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President ...Read More

• Rookie is on the job   

  A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who w ...Read More

• The reason for running   

  A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. He eventually realizes he c ...Read More

• Should have glasses   

  A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses." The woman answered "Well, I hav ...Read More

• Dealing with a juggler   

  Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police. "What are those knives doing in your car?" asked the officer. "I juggle them ...Read More

• Lost far from a home   

  A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman s ...Read More

• Working in the garden   

  A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some lettuce in the backyard. But I will need to dig up the sod to ma ...Read More

• Getting a new deputy   

  The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," ...Read More

• Drunk Driver   

  One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the b ...Read More

• Catching the shoplifter   

  A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any ...Read More

• Wife helps out the cop   

  A male driver is pulled over by a cop and the following conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least ...Read More

• New person in prison   

  A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inqu ...Read More

• Nine Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation   

  9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7 ...Read More

• Dealing with criminals   

  A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this ...Read More

• Looking into their eyes   

  A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice you ...Read More

• Swerve to avoid a box   

  Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reck ...Read More

• The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over   

  The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over. 20. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. 19. Sorry officer, I didn't ...Read More

• Lost it   

  A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches "Can I help you sir?" ...Read More

• A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding ...   

  A cop pulls Jenna Bush over for speeding and he notices her eyes are red. He says, "Gee, your eyes look red. Have you been drinking?" Jenna re ...Read More

• Police Departments   

  The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President ...Read More

• A scam we would all love to see   

  A man went to the police to report a scam. "What happens is when you stop for a red light, a young nude woman comes up and pretends to be washing y ...Read More

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