Relationship Jokes

List of Relationship Jokes ...

  • Beautiful   

    There was a husband and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he ...Read More
  • Lethal Food   

    A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting he ...Read More
  • Impossible to Please   

    A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends ...Read More
  • ABC's of ex girlfriends   

    A is for Arteries. You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your ...Read More
  • A way to save your marriage   

    A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach. The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, t ...Read More
  • Forty years of marriage   

    A couple had been married for 40 years and also celebrated their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because th ...Read More
  • Getting revenge with marriage   

    Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer J ...Read More
  • 0 to 200 in 6 seconds   

    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the d ...Read More
  • How To Handle a Husband   

    A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk ...Read More
  • Married for Money?   

    Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the following week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed ...Read More
  • Divorced Barbie   

    A guy is in a toy shop buying a birthday present for his daughter. When asked what he would like, he simply says "a Barbie doll". The shop ass ...Read More
  • Daddy Died?   

    A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare. The man wakes him and asks if he is ok. The son replies he is sca ...Read More
  • Just an e-mail Note   

    An Illinois man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there t ...Read More
  • Generous Offers   

    John and his wife Mary were having a shower together in their upstairs bathroom when the doorbell rang. Mary heard the bell, got out of the shower, wr ...Read More
  • Fix It   

    A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks ...Read More
  • Husband Slide   

    A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was ...Read More
  • The Honeymoon is Over   

    Rupert and Elaine, a young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Elaine immediately 'phoned her mother and ...Read More
  • Fidelity   

    Husband: Sweetheart, would you say that I'm the only man you've ever loved? Wife: Of course you are. Why do all men ask me the same silly question? ...Read More
  • And that's how the fight started   

    When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive, so I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started ...Read More
  • Quirks About Life You Notice By The Time You Are 5   

    Most people deserve each other. All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken. The one who snores will fall asleep first. The length ...Read More
  • Never Leave A Good Chance To Get Rid Of Your Wife   

    A man burst into a crowded bank, ordered everyone into a corner, and then got his bag filled with packets of money. But instead of running out, he ...Read More
  • Ass Face   

    A married couple is in a terrible accident that leaves the man's face severely burned. The hubby is too skinny to donate any of his own skin, so his w ...Read More
  • Two old ladies   

    There were two old ladies that went to lunch. one old lady said to the other "ya know i can't get any sex off of my old man" the other old lady says " ...Read More
  • What if women controlled medical science? The manogram!   

    What if women controlled medical science? ...Read More
  • Brain Transplant   

    A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, ''Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.'' ...Read More
  • Girlfriend 1.0 -> Wife 1.0   

    MEMORANDUM RE: Computer Software Warning Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving v ...Read More
  • Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men   

    Reasons Why Cookie Dough Is Better Than Men 1. It's enjoyable hard or soft 2. It makes a mess too, but it tastes better 3. It doesn't mind ...Read More

  • Before it starts   

    A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it star ...Read More
  • The honeymoon is over   

    A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoo ...Read More
  • If you love something   

    If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If ...Read More
  • Black Magic   

    An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the ...Read More
  • How old am I?   

    Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes ...Read More
  • Child custody   

    A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to ...Read More
  • Expert in the kitchen   

    An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home." "Why?" asked ...Read More
  • Romantic food   

    Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary din ...Read More
  • Funeral arrangements   

    Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. "Sid ...Read More
  • Hot air ballon ride   

    A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, c ...Read More



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