Religion Jokes

List of Religion Jokes ...

  • Jehovah's Witness   

    A Jehovah's Witness canvasser knocks at the door. The man inside opens the door and asks him in. They sit down, and very cordially, the man offe ...Read More
  • The New Priest   

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replie ...Read More
  • Healing   

    An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to ...Read More
  • Don't Fall Asleep in Church   

    A man who went to church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon. The wife decided to do something about this. One Sunday, she took a long ...Read More
  • Fallen   

    There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one ...Read More
  • River of God   

    A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it in ...Read More
  • Pastor v. Choir Director   

    Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside. One w ...Read More
  • Copies of Copies   

    A new monk arrived at the monastery. He was assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He noticed, however, that they were cop ...Read More
  • The Flood   

    One day there was this preacher and he was having his usual sermon when all of a sudden it started raining, really, really, hard!!!! After about 1 ful ...Read More
  • Noah   

    The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are ...Read More
  • Father and Son Interpret the Bible   

    A young boy had just got his driver's permit and inquired of his father, an evangelist, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him ...Read More
  • Loch Ness Monster and the Atheist   

    An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and h ...Read More
  • Priests on Vacation   

    Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them a ...Read More
  • The Rabbi's Confessional   

    A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and ask ...Read More
  • The Painting Lesson   

    A Scottish tradesman, a painter called Jack, was very interested in making a pound where he could. So he often would thin down his paint to make it go ...Read More
  • Clearing the Church   

    The 2000 member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed ...Read More
  • Kids Interpret the Bible   

    The following statements are said to have been written by actual children and, as far as we know, are genuine, authentic and not retouched or correct ...Read More
  • What Nationality was Jesus?   

    THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father's business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his ...Read More
  • Bible Verses   

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someon ...Read More
  • Church Bulletin Bloopers   

    This is a compilation of actual Church Bulletins and Service bloopers: * Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High". * Don't let worry ki ...Read More
  • Preacher's Ass (Donkey)   

    A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in th ...Read More
  • Never Fall Asleep In Church   

    One day Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church. "Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during you ...Read More
  • Getting in an accident   

    A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, b ...Read More
  • Last request   

    Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?" ...Read More
  • An Act of God?   

    A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real esta ...Read More
  • Priest and Golf   

    One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. ...Read More
  • Do you want to go to heaven?   

    Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The ...Read More
  • Minister for drinks   

    A southern minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression, he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it i ...Read More



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